I am new, and the thing nobody warned me about is that everybody here is already mid conversation with three other people. It is not rudeness. It is what happens in a city where four sorts of platform run at once and everyone is on all of them. But at twenty three, with no experience, I have nothing to compete with except being interested, and interested is not scarce.
Twenty three, Manhattan, submissive. A year of reading, two conversations that faded around the third week, nothing else to report.
What I have decided is to stop trying to be quick about it. I write long, I talk to one person at a time, and I say plainly that I would rather have a single slow conversation than six that go nowhere. Several people have found that strange, which tells me something about the local habit.
What I want is somebody patient enough to be a first proper experience without treating that as an opportunity. Structure, clear terms, going slowly, meeting in daylight in public a few times before anything else at all.
Not looking for anyone who tells me my age is refreshing. Not looking for somebody who wants to teach me in exchange for obedience. And not looking to be one of several people somebody is politely keeping warm.