What I want is specific enough that in a metropolitan area this size I have met perhaps six people who share it. So I keep two presences. One on a local platform where the pool is enormous and the overlap is almost nil, and one on a written board that is national and slow, where a handful of people know exactly what I mean and not one of them lives inside three hours of me.
Forty four, the Jersey side, submissive, fifteen years in. I am not going to itemise the interest beyond saying it is specific, not sexual, and consuming, and that people either recognise it at once or never.
The two platforms produce two different failures. Local gives me people I could see weekly who would need years of explaining. National gives me people who need none and who I would see four times a year. I have tried both properly and neither survived a full year.
So this is an advert on the local side, written in the hope that my arithmetic is wrong. Ongoing, structured, patient, with somebody willing to learn something particular rather than approximate it.
Not looking for anybody who will say they are open to it and mean they will tolerate it. Not looking for a third long distance arrangement. And not looking to be talked into a version of this that is close enough.