The week I moved out of the city I stopped existing on the platform I had used for eight years. Nothing about my profile changed. What changed is that the model runs on being present, I could no longer be present, and within four months the messages simply stopped arriving. It was the quietest imaginable way to lose a social life.
Thirty six, in the belt, switch, eight years in. The move was money, space and a job that is now much nearer, it was the right call, and I would make it again with a better understanding of what it cost.
What I have found since is that the products which deal you people do not care where you live in the same way, because they never expected you to turn up anywhere in the first place. They are shallower, and they are also the only thing that functions out here. So I run one of each and I am honest with both about the geography.
I want something ongoing with somebody who treats daytime as real time. I can lead and I can hand it over, and I would rather find one person who wants both than two people who each want half.
Not looking for anybody who agrees the distance is fine and then quietly stops answering in week five, which has now happened three times. Not looking for late nights in town. And not looking to move back.