We have been open for six years and we use completely different sorts of platform, which has turned out to be the single most useful accident of the arrangement. She is on a big general one. I am on the written specialist kind. In six years neither of us has appeared in front of the other, not once, and it was never planning. The populations simply barely touch.
Forty five, in the belt, switch, married twenty years, two grown children who know exactly as much as they need to. My wife knows about this advert and read it before it went up.
What I want is something ongoing rather than an evening. I am better at leading and I have a genuine appetite for the other side that I have explored properly twice, both times well. Whoever this is would need to be comfortable being a defined part of my life rather than a secret, and comfortable that there is a ceiling on what I can offer, because there is one and it is not moving.
Not looking for anybody who wants to be persuaded that my marriage is secretly unhappy, because it is not and the conversation is tedious. Not looking for anything at short notice, given the geography. And not looking for somebody who wants to meet my wife, which is a perfectly fair thing to want and simply is not what we do.