The half of me that wants to lead does well on the platform where people write. The half that wants to hand things over does well on the one where people react. I did not plan that and I do not particularly like it, but after three years of keeping both going I can no longer call it a coincidence. The two populations are different and they want different things from me.
Forty two, west London, switch, thirteen years in. I am not maintaining two secret lives. Everybody I talk to knows there is another platform and mostly could not care less.
What I would like is to stop. One person who can take both halves, who does not need me to declare a permanent direction, and who is not going to treat the half they like less as a phase to be waited out patiently. That is a great deal to ask, which is why this advert is long.
I am at my most useful when there is a routine. Weekly, structured, with a conversation at the start of each month about which way things are pointing at the moment.
Not looking for anybody who wants every change negotiated as a special occasion. Not looking for two separate arrangements, having tried exactly that and found it exhausting. And not looking to be somebody's flexible option for when their first choice is busy.