The general apps give you a box for what you enjoy on a Sunday and no box whatsoever for wanting to be given a standard and held to it. I have written that sentence into a bio on four different products and had four different sets of people reply about something else entirely. The specialist platforms at least have the language. What they then do with it is another matter.
Forty five, east, submissive, twelve years in. Two arrangements in that time, both entirely without a sexual element, the longer one running four years and ending because she emigrated. That is not coyness and it is not an opening position, and somebody usually spends a season discovering that despite my having said it at the top.
The platform question decides how often I have to have that conversation. On the mass market kind I explain myself from nothing every single time, to everyone, forever. On the written kind I put it in the advert and the people it does not suit simply never write, which is the single most valuable thing any of these places has done for me.
So: a dominant of any gender who wants a service arrangement with clear terms, a fixed rhythm and a review every so often. Reporting in. Doing a thing properly because somebody whose opinion matters is going to check it.
Not looking for anyone who agrees in writing and then reopens it in person. Not looking for an audience. And not looking to be talked round, because twelve years is long enough to know.