Nobody tells you the specialist platforms exist. I spent three years on the enormous general one writing a bio that hinted, meeting people who hinted back, and discovering around the second date that we had each been hinting at something completely different. Then a woman I was talking to mentioned in passing that there were whole places built for this, and I felt like an idiot for about a week.
Twenty seven, south east, submissive, and that is my entire experience: three years of near misses on a product that was never designed for this and does not claim to be.
What I have learned since is that the general model gives you the biggest pool there is and pushes every part of the filtering onto you, in code, at your own risk. The specialist ones offer a small pool where the sorting has already happened. I would rather do the small one badly than the enormous one carefully for another three years.
So I am starting again, openly, in a place where I do not have to be clever about the wording. I want an ongoing dynamic rather than an evening. Rules that mean something on an ordinary week. Somebody willing to be the first person I do this with properly.
Not looking for anyone who wants to teach me in exchange for obedience in week one. Not looking to be somebody's first attempt at being in charge, unless they say so plainly and we go slowly. And not looking to go back to hinting at things.