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Pick the app first · Non-explicit · Adults 18+

Connections · New York · Switches

Four platforms in one city means four pools and none of them deep

Posted as no_critical_mass on 27 August 2026

Wantsanybody who wants the same specific thing, on any platform at all
ExperienceEleven years, two arrangements, both of them with the same person.
AroundQueens, New York

The great advantage of this city is supposed to be that every kind of platform works here at once. In practice that means the people are divided four ways, and if what you want is at all specific then each of those four contains about six of you. I would rather have one crowded room than four half empty ones, and there is no way to say so that does not sound like complaining about abundance.

Thirty six, Queens, switch, eleven years in. Both my arrangements were with the same person, seven years apart, which tells you something about how often the right one turns up.

What I want is not exotic, it is just particular: an ongoing arrangement built almost entirely around routine and correction rather than anything dramatic, either direction, with somebody who finds that idea restful rather than thin.

I am on two platforms and I will happily go and look at a third if that is where you are. The platform is the least interesting thing about any of this and it decides most of it, which is the joke.

Not looking for anybody who wants variety. Not looking to be somebody's exception. And not looking for a person who will describe what I want as a bit tame, which has been said to me twice by people who did not last a month.

Where a post like this belongs

Two directions is the hardest thing to say on a platform built around one label, and running a second app for the second direction is the usual expensive mistake.

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