A man off a fast product once asked why I had not answered in six hours. A woman off a written board once apologised for replying within two days, in case it seemed hasty. Neither of them was being strange. They had each learned what a normal interval is from the platform that taught them, and I have concluded that this single mismatch has ended more of my conversations than any actual incompatibility ever has.
Thirty seven, Queens, switch, twelve years in. I now put my own pace in the first message. It reads as fussy and it has saved me entire months.
Mine is about ten days of writing, then a call, then an hour somewhere public in daylight with nothing riding on it. After that I move quickly, because by then I have what I need.
What I want is ongoing and either direction, with a lean towards being led in the winter and leading in the summer, which sounds ridiculous and has been true for years.
Not looking for anybody who reads a stated pace as an opening offer. Not looking for a correspondence with no destination. And not looking for a person who needs the first week to feel like something, because in my experience the good ones are unremarkable for about a month.