The platform everybody recommends has a proper search in it, and every search anybody runs begins with a role. Pick the box, get the results. That is a sensible feature and it has one consequence nobody mentions out loud, which is that a person who has not picked a box does not appear in anybody's results at all. A year on there and I am, in the most literal sense available, unfindable.
Thirty four, Queens, still working it out, a year on that one and a year on a written board.
I could obviously just pick something. I have watched people do exactly that, tick the nearest option in order to become visible, and then spend half a year inside conversations built on a word they chose for a search engine. Two friends did it. Both are now carefully unpicking arrangements that were never quite theirs to begin with.
So I write adverts instead, because an advert is the only format I have found that lets a person be legible without also being sorted. This is the third I have written and the first one I have had the nerve to post.
Not looking for anybody who needs the label before the conversation. Not looking to be filed. And not looking for a person who treats an undecided adult as an opportunity, which I have now seen closely enough to recognise early.