A dynamic of mine ended badly four years ago and it was discussed at length in public by people who were not in it. In a city where a reputation formed on one platform follows you onto all the others, that is now a permanent feature of me. You will hear about it eventually. I would rather it was in the first paragraph than in the third month from somebody else.
My version, briefly: we disagreed about what had been agreed, she was hurt, I handled the ending of it slowly and badly, and I have thought about it for four years. I do not believe I am a danger to anybody and I am not going to spend an advert litigating the details.
Forty one, south east, dominant, fourteen years in. What I have done since is unspectacular. I stopped for two years. I talked to people who were willing to tell me I was wrong. I came back on one platform rather than five, under the same name, because changing it would have been the genuinely dishonest move.
What I want is an ongoing arrangement with somebody who asks hard questions early and trusts her own judgement more than a thread.
Not looking for anybody who wants to rescue me from my reputation. Not looking to be argued about. And if your answer is no, that is an entirely reasonable answer and you will not hear from me again.