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Connections · London · Doms

Yes I will teach. No, that is not a dynamic, and here is why

Posted as teaching_is_not_collecting on 26 July 2026

Wantseither a student who wants only that, or a partner who wants the other thing
ExperienceTwenty years, several arrangements, two mentorships that stayed platonic.
Aroundthe west, London

There is a teaching culture on the platform you join and none at all on the one that deals you faces, and the difference decides who arrives at my door. People off the community side turn up having read for a year and wanting to be shown how a thing is done properly. People off the swiping side turn up wanting something else entirely and using the word teach because it sounds modest.

Fifty two, west London, dominant, twenty years in. I am happy to teach and I have done it several times. It is not a dynamic. It has an end point, it is not exclusive, there is nothing romantic in it, and either of us can stop without it being a breakup.

The other thing I want is a dynamic, and I want it with an adult who is already competent and does not need me to explain what a limit is. Ongoing, structured, a fixed evening, correction that is verbal and immediate rather than stored up and delivered later.

Please tell me which of the two you are writing about. I have had entire months pass with each of us politely discussing a different arrangement, and it is nobody's fault but it is a waste.

Not looking for anybody who wants a title in week one. Not looking to be a step on the way to somebody else. And not looking for anyone who thinks being taught means being told what they already wanted to hear.

Where a post like this belongs

A post written at this length dies on a swipe deck. What it needs is a platform where profiles get read at all, and where moderation is a job somebody is actually doing.

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