The line in my bio on the big general app was worded so that the right person would understand it and nobody else would. In four years exactly two people understood, one of whom was making a joke. The rest of the time I went on perfectly nice ordinary dates and waited for a moment that never once arrived. I have finally accepted that this is the model failing rather than me.
Thirty one, south east. No practical experience of any of it. A great deal of reading, some of which I now suspect was the wrong reading.
The reason I have not simply moved to a specialist platform is not shyness about the subject. It is that a general app is a place where being seen means nothing, and a specialist one is a place where being seen means something quite specific. I work in a field where that would matter. I am trying to work out whether it would matter enough to stop me.
So I am writing here first, anonymously, which I gather is what a board like this is for.
I would like to hear from people who made the same jump and what it actually cost them, if anything. Not looking for a lecture about being brave. Not looking for anybody who wants to meet this week. And not looking to be told the risk is imaginary, because it is not, and I would rather be spoken to as an adult about it.