I want to be somebody's only, and I have slowly worked out that this is a platform problem rather than a character problem. On a product that hands you four new people every evening, nobody is anybody's only, because the supply is doing the thinking on everyone's behalf. Move to a place where finding one person took a month of reading and the same human beings behave completely differently. It is not virtue. It is scarcity.
Thirty eight, Manhattan, dominant, twelve years in, one arrangement of three years that ended because we wanted different cities and both of us were right.
So I have gone where the supply is slow on purpose. What I want is exclusive, ongoing and structured, with terms written down and a fixed weekly evening. I am not interested in an arrangement that is one of several, which I say without any judgement of the people who are.
Not looking for anybody currently deciding between three people, because in my experience the deciding never actually concludes. Not looking to be a stage in somebody's exploration. And not looking for a person who wants exclusivity as a rule imposed on them rather than as the thing they want, because that difference surfaces around month four and it is never pleasant.